The Kiss
by SoapDuck
Summary: She hadn't meant to. It had been an impulse, a reckless, stupid headlong plunge into untested waters, and yet as he pressed himself closer to her, his sigh ghosting through her and his hand coming up to cup her cheek, she couldn't bring herself to regret it. (Rated for use of language.)


**A/N: Warning for dropping of the F-Bomb. Multiple times. **

* * *

She hadn't meant to.

It had been an impulse, a reckless, _stupid _headlong plunge into untested waters, and yet as he pressed himself closer to her, his sigh ghosting through her and his hand coming up to cup her cheek, she couldn't bring herself to regret it.

…

Mikasa had been eating in the refectory, silently observing the interactions between the other members of the Scouting Legion, when he had burst through the door, a swirl of snow following him in, chest heaving and eyes wild with anger. A snarl ripped from the back of his throat when his eyes met hers.

She didn't move, didn't make a sound as he strode towards her, body vibrating with the force of his wrath, even as others flinched back away from him. Armin turned to look at her, his gaze seeking hers, as a grimace of sympathy passed over his face.

A growl of frustration erupted near her, and her eyes snapped back to Eren, who stood just a few feet away from her.

"MIKASA!" he screamed, spittle spraying across her face as his face contorted in fury.

"I DO _**NOT **_NEED _**YOU **_TO PROTECT ME! I CAN HANDLE MYSELF!"

She nodded, her voice perfectly calm, "I am sorry, Eren. I just wished to ensure that you were safe."

His snarled again, his teeth bared like a wolf's, and he screamed at her again, "WELL, YOUR WISH TO ENSURE MY _**SAFETY **_ALMOST GOT US _**BOTH **_KILLED!"

At that Jean leapt from his seat, grabbing Eren by the back of his shirt and dragging him out of the refectory, away from Mikasa and out into the freezing air. Jean tossed him out into the night, before cracking his knuckles and shoulders and following him outside.

Silence fell in the refectory as everyone froze, none quite sure what to do. Armin's eyes found Mikasa's again and they both sprinted towards the door, a flurry of snow swirling in their wake.

Outside, Jean had Eren against the rough wooden wall of the refectory, slamming him over and over again into it, while Eren snarled and spat and struggled to free himself.

He lent over and shouted in his ear, "You do _**not **_speak to Mikasa that way! She saved your fucking ungrateful ass!" Punctuating each word with a shove into the wall until a trickle of blood ran from Eren's hairline down to his chin.

Mikasa ran forward and placed her hand on Jean's arm, cutting him a single glance when he turned towards her before turning her attention to Eren. Jean hesitated a second more before he released Eren, who slumped to the snow-covered ground, sneering and spitting on him before turning back and returning to the warmth of the refectory and the cheering joviality of the Recon Corps.

Distantly, Mikasa heard the door to the refectory swing shut, but she was more worried about Eren, who lay unconscious on the ground in front of her, purple bruising already appearing around the cut at his hairline. She heard Armin come up behind her, his feet crunching in the snow.

"We should get him out of the snow."

She nodded in assent, and went to pull him up to carry him, but was stopped by Armin's hand on her arm, who was shaking his head.

"Neither of us is strong enough to carry him. Unless we can wake him up now, one of us will have to go get something to carry him in." His eyes flicked to the door behind which lay a crackling fire, warm fire and hundreds of people laughing and joking with each other.

"I don't think anybody in there will help us."

She nodded again and knelt down in front of Eren before seizing him by the collar and slapping him as hard as she could across the face.

They both tensed, nervous energy tightening their bodies as they waited to see if Eren would regain consciousness. But after several minutes Eren still lay on the ground and the snow was beginning to fall thicker.

Armin sighed as Eren continued to lie still on the frozen ground and muttered something about concussions and finding a wheelbarrow before running off into the snow, his form quickly disappearing into the night until it was just Mikasa and Eren in the snow.

She frowned down at him. She had seen his eyelids flicker at the moment her hand made contact with his face. She needed him to get up _now _before they both froze to death.

Her jaw set and she reached down and grabbed a handful of snow, shoving it into his face. His eyelids flickered and he groaned before his head lolled back, his body limp again.

She sighed in frustration, and pushed him as hard as she could into the wall behind him, his back and head meeting the wall with a resounding _crack _- somewhere in the back of her mind she supposed she should probably be worried about that - and being rewarded for her efforts as his eyes snapped open and he gasped in pain. She released him, though more gently than Jean, and he slumped down against the wall again, groaning as his head fell between his knees.

She considered him for a moment, assessing his current state, the freezing cold and how quickly Armin could return with a wheelbarrow to carry him in.

There was an 89.72% chance that hypothermia would set in before Armin reappeared with any kind of transportation.

She stood up, shaking the snow that had gathered on her shoulders from her body, before stretching a hand out to Eren, saying, "You need to get up Eren."

He looked up at her voice, and he sneered at her proffered hand. Slapping it away, he growled, "I don't need _your _help."

He struggled to his feet, the world tipping dizzily around him as he dragged himself to stand, leaning heavily upon the wall next to him, his chest heaving with effort.

"I will _never _need your help."

She appraised him cooly.

"Eren. You are in no condition to argue or fight. You must return inside until Armin returns with something to carry you in."

He met her gaze squarely, his jaw set in a hard line and his eyes narrowed in anger, though he still lent heavily on the wooden wall behind him.

"Fuck you, Mikasa," he spat.

She said nothing. He would do nothing she says he should do when he is in this mood. They would both have to wait in the snow until Armin returned. She looked around her, the white flakes were only falling faster.

She hitched her scarf higher up around her face.

"Leave me the fuck _alone_!" he screamed.

She continued to say nothing, staring fixedly at the ground.

His face contorted in frustration and anger as he noticed her stubborn refusal to leave and he _screamed _at her, teetering on his feet,"GODFUCKINGDAMNIT MIKASA! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T NEED YOU TO PROTECT ME FROM THE _SNOW!" _

He pitched over, Mikasa reaching out to catch him, and causing both of them to tumble onto the snow-covered ground as his weight collapsed on top of her. At the last second, she twisted so that she would take the worst of the fall, a gasp of shock escaping her as she made contact with the ground, the cold soaking into her clothes and his weight crushing her.

She pushed him off her, a groan escaping him as he rolled off her onto his back. His eyes opened, and they drifted apart, unfocused. She stood up, automatically reaching down to Eren who still lay on the ground, semi-conscious.

Dazedly, his eyes eventually settled on he hand, which he followed up her arm, up her body, and finally focusing on her face. He looked away before he could meet her eyes.

"I already told you! I don't want your help!"

She nodded and turned away.

"Of course, Eren. Whatever you want."

She began to walk away, with the intention of tracking down Armin, but she stopped when she heard Eren cry out, "Wait!" behind her.

She turned to see Eren scrambling to his feet, swaying drunkenly before he began to stumble towards her, tripping over his own feet as he tried to run towards her.

She exhaled and walked towards him, her boots crunching in the snow. She caught his arm when he reached her, balancing him as he lurched forwards at the sudden stop. She looked him in the eyes, noting the way his pupils were dilated and slow to react, lazily following her eyes' movements and the drifting snow.

"You need to _rest, _Eren. You are concussed and you must recover."

She looked away from him.

"You are our greatest hope."

His nostrils flared and his mouth twisted in rage, baring his teeth.

"Stop it, _**STOP IT!**_" he shouted.

He seized her by the upper arms, and shook her. "Stop thinking I'm some child you need to protect! I can take care of myself! You're going to get yourself _killed _if you keep throwing yourself into battle like that!"

She frowned. "But, Eren," she began, but he interrupted her before she could continue.

"I don't fucking care! I don't need you to protect me!"

He laughed harshly, bitterness twisting his words. "I'm the most protected person in the _entire _company! If I even _see _a Titan it's a miracle."

Something inside her snapped. It was like a match had been struck in her and she was quickly turning into a roaring, _blazing _fire of fury.

"You almost died today! The Armoured Titan had you in his hand! He was going to _crush _you, Eren!"

"And we both almost died because you jumped in to rescue me!"

"_I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU, EREN!" _

They both stopped, their faces inches from each other. Mikasa's chest was heaving in anger and her hands were balled in to fists at her sides in the most emotion she had shown in the entire confrontation. Eren blinked at her confusedly, surprise and confusing sweeping the remnants of anger from his face.

They stood like that for what felt like hours, both as surprised as the other at the words that had slipped out of her mouth. Finally, Eren spoke, the words forming in his mouth slowly, as if he were still unsure of them himself.

"But, you're the strongest person in the entire Survey Corps, after Levi. You can't just," he hesitated, his brows furrowing together, before he took a deep breath and continued, "Die."

She shook her head. "I am nothing without you, Eren. I owe you a debt, one that shall never be repaid."

She looked away from him, her eyes settling on a slow-falling snowflake in the distance.

"I would never forgive myself if I let you die."

He seized her shoulders again, "That is nothing! It was nothing! You shouldn't die over that!"

He pushed her away from him, turning his back to her, swaying on his feet as he did.

"There was never any debt, Mikasa. You have to know that. Don't kill yourself over that."

He took a step forward, as if he was going to try to walk back to his room, and before she knew what she was doing, her hand shot out, catching his wrist and preventing him from leaving.

"It's not just the debt, Eren. I would die without you because…" She trailed off, sudden insecurity choking the words in her mouth. He would hate her forever if she said them. There was no way he could return her _feelings. _It would be better to leave it now, to walk away, and fall back into her familiar role as protector and friend.

She would not be happy, but she had never cared about her own happiness. _She _was nothing. Insubstantial. Trivial. Her life was Eren's, and all that mattered was him.

He turned back towards her, anger and confusion swarming across his face, competing for dominance.

"Because _what_, Mikasa?"

She stared off into the distance over his shoulder.

"Because you're the only family I have left."

He groaned and he seized her by the arm again, his fingers digging into her - she was sure there would be bruises in the morning - and he forced her to meet his eyes, looking at her with an intensity she didn't want to understand.

"I am _not _your only family. You have Armin, Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Christa, Reiner, and, and," he hesitated, his hands gesticulating wildly in the air, as if he were floundering for words, "_everyone._"

He paused and his eyes narrowed at her. She hadn't said what she meant, but there was something in the brown of his eyes, a shrewd awareness that would not normally be there, and should definitely not be there in his concussed state.

_What if he knew?_

"Do not kill yourself because you think that I'm the only person you have left."

She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. He didn't know. She was happy, but there was a sour taste in her mouth she didn't want to think about. A burning behind her eyes and a thickness in her throat that made it hard for her to speak.

He sighed and turned away from her, his back hiding whatever may have been revealed on his face from her.

"Because what if I would die without you, too?"

She gasped, and it felt like the world froze around her. She forgot about everything else around them, the snowflakes that fell from the sky, the biting wind that blew from the east, even the other Scouts in the refectory. There was nothing else on the face of the earth that mattered more than them in that single moment. Her entire existence had narrowed down to her, him and a single sentence.

Before she knew what she was doing, her hand had struck out and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him back around to face her. He was still angry, furious, even - she could see it in his eyes - yet they both stood there, the cold flushing their cheeks, steam puffing with their breath, neither saying anything.

And then she stretched up and pressed her lips to his.

…

And now here she was, _melting _into him, sighing into his mouth in pleasure as his thumb stroked along her cheek and his lips moved against hers. His other hand trailed down the side of her body to rest at her waist and her hands crept up his chest to rest at his shoulders, pulling him tighter against her, and he hummed in appreciation.

His tongue touched against her mouth, and she gasped as their tongues met, before pressing even closer to him, until it was impossible to tell where one began and the other ended.

She was losing herself in him, _drowning_ in him as his lips moved against hers. Her entire body was on fire, heat sparking in her toes and coursing through her body, flames licking along the path of his fingers, and burning her, _consuming _her in a hunger she couldn't describe. It was the most intense feeling she had ever experienced and she needed _more. _

Her hands travelled down his front and curled in his shirt, pulling him closer, closer, always closer, as she deepened the kiss, his _groan _thrumming through her.

She could soar among the stars.

The crash of metal colliding to the ground broke through them, and Eren leapt away from her like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, his mouth tearing from hers with a terrible shucking sound.

"I - I'm sorry."

Mikasa turned to glare at who had _dared _to disturb them, and saw Armin standing just a few feet away from them, his cheeks red from the cold, and his jaw slack in astonishment, his hands still clenched in the air, trying to grab at the handles of the rusted wheelbarrow that lay at his feet, its iron side still vibrating from the force of its fall.

They stood there for a while - nobody knowing what to do - snow still falling steadily around them, until Armin shook himself, white flakes flying from his hair, and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.

"I - I'll just be going then."

He turned to walk away, wheelbarrow forgotten at his feet, and with one final bewildered glance back at them, he ran away, muttering to himself unintelligibly.

She turned to Eren then, hoping against hope that he would reach for her again, that he would press his lips against hers again, that he felt the same way about her, but one look at him ended all such dreams. He was staring at her with wide, horrified eyes, his mouth hanging open in the air. Slowly, his gaze travelled down from her face to his hand, to the thumb that had caressed her cheek so gently, and his face turned as white as the snow that fell around them and abject horror swept across his face.

Her hand crept up to the scarf that wrapped around her neck, taking the end and pressing it over her mouth - an old habit, one from childhood, one she used to comfort herself - as she closed her eyes as her eyes stung with rejection.

She had known that the moment she pressed her lips to his there was no going back, no undoing what had been done, but when he had kissed her back, when he had held her closer, pulled her tighter, when his _tongue _had grazed against hers, she had believed that maybe, just _maybe, _this could be leading to something better, but no.

That was not her path.

She would _not _burden Eren with her emotions. He was worth more than that. He had more to deal with than be _distracted _by her trivial feelings. She would apologise and that would be all. It would be nothing more than a momentary lapse in judgement in the morning.

She opened her eyes, letting the scarf fall away from her face as her familiar blank mask slid into place.

"I apologise Eren. It will not happen again." She bowed stiffly and stalked away, not bothering to wait for his reply.

She turned down the street that led to her room, her fingers still twisting in the fabric of her scarf, the only indication that anything out of the ordinary had occurred.

A kiss was trivial. It meant nothing.

_It had meant nothing._

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**A/N: So that's a wrap. Hopefully it wasn't as corny as it sounds. **

**Btw, reviews make the world go round. Make my day? *bambi eyes***


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